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If yesterday had a 'topic of the day' it was boy-girl relationships aka BGR. Not only did I have several lengthy discussions with a few people concerning this matter but my cell group decided to watch the film Fireproof last night as well. It is a movie about the struggles of this married couple and the measures taken by the husband to try save what is left of their marriage, in the face of divorce.
As the DVD menu loaded and the movie title was displayed, I felt so out of place. Afterall, the movie tagline is Fireproof: Never Leave Your Partner Behind. Once I saw that I immediately felt like telling my pastor: "Eh pastor, I don't even have a partner to leave behind. Let me go find a partner first then I come back and watch." But I didn't so I stayed and watched the film. I would say that it is a better film than Facing the Giants, and while almost everybody will be able to learn something out of this movie, it is still primarily for those who are currently in relationships. Nonetheless here are several of the things that I picked up from the movie.
As the DVD menu loaded and the movie title was displayed, I felt so out of place. Afterall, the movie tagline is Fireproof: Never Leave Your Partner Behind. Once I saw that I immediately felt like telling my pastor: "Eh pastor, I don't even have a partner to leave behind. Let me go find a partner first then I come back and watch." But I didn't so I stayed and watched the film. I would say that it is a better film than Facing the Giants, and while almost everybody will be able to learn something out of this movie, it is still primarily for those who are currently in relationships. Nonetheless here are several of the things that I picked up from the movie.
The first point is this: If you have nothing good to say, then don't say anything. I'm sure we've all heard of this phrase before, but its not as easy as it seems right? Personally for me this is quite a challenge. I have always prided upon the fact that I am an honest and frank person, and if you can't handle the truth then TOO BAD! But the sad thing is that I've lost count of the times when my 'honesty' and 'bluntness' has hurt the people around me. We always hurt the ones we love the most =( Even my mum tells me, "Sometimes its just stupid to be honest." -__- Don't get me wrong its not like my mum is encouraging me to lie and con people, but honesty doesn't always yield the desired result unfortunately. Story of my life.
The second point that really stood out for me was :
Don't follow your heart, lead it!Most of the time when we ask our peers for advice, their reply would be: Just follow your heart. This is based on the reasoning that one should do what he/she feels right at the time. But this is rather dangerous as following your heart means following your feelings and emotions, which can change in an instant. I think this really challenges the way we think about love. Is love only a feeling like The Darkness claims it to be? Maybe that's why there are so many divorces nowadays, because once the 'feeling' is gone, people don't 'love' each other anymore and they don't see the point in sticking around.
This film actually suggests that love is not a feeling but rather a decision, a decision to commit. So in a relationship, you have to decide to commit and stick to it by all means, which is basically 'leading your heart'. This I have always known and agreed on. But my question is now this: What if you're not in a relationship now and you're deciding whether to pursue a girl (girls have it so easy, you just need to sit pretty and say yes/no), do you just follow your heart or lead it? Do you wait until you're absolutely sure that she's the one and only one that you want before moving in? Then again no matter how sure you feel about it, there is no guarantee that it will turn out the way you want it to be. Oh well. All we can do is trust in Him that is in control of everything.
I'm a fan of these twins! They sing really well and are Christians too! Lets see whether I get rejected or ignored. Place your bets people!
Update:
My mum (and dad actually) have always encouraged me to find a girl that can do housework and can look after children, you know basically a housewife. I will always tell them that in this modern era (where girls are just as educated and qualified as guys) there is no point in trying to find a 'housewife' type of girl unless you go to all those kampung and find. But honestly I would rather search for a girl who would be my peer and equal, rather than just a 'glorified maid' (no offense). So anyway after my mum found out that I ate McD twice yesterday (breakfast and dinner), we had this conversation:
Mum: Wah you better find a wife that can earn a lot of money. You everyday eat fast food you will die early and then your kids will suffer.
Me: I thought you want me find a 'housewife' kind of girl?
Mum: No better not lah. No money your kids will die.
Me: Then how? You said before that if wife go out and work nobody will look after the kids!
Mum: Just hope that your wife's mum will help take care of the kids while she is out working lah. If not who going to look after your kids? The maid? Maid feed your kids shit also you don't know! So many of the housewives we know actually can earn money but they no choice have to stay at home to look after kids, because the grandparents don't want to help look after their grandchildren.
Me: So let me get this straight. Finding a wife that can earn money is useless if her parents don't want to help take care of the kids?
Mum: Yalor.
Me: So like that I shouldn't be looking for a wife that can earn money first. I should be looking for potential in-laws that are willing to help jaga anak and then only see if they got daughters that can earn money.
Mum: ......................
Owned.
